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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24392341">Two Years after the War</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDelphian/pseuds/TheDelphian'>TheDelphian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:06:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24392341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDelphian/pseuds/TheDelphian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko comes to terms with being a regular kind of asshole, instead of an evil one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>329</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. chapter one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Avatar: The Last Airbender is on Netflix and Chicago is still enacting a stay at home order. Plus, I'm still salty Zutara wasn't endgame.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Perhaps we should postpone,” said Zuko.</p><p>He stared at his own reflection in distaste. The white bandages encasing his abdomen were soaked through with old blood. They had dried throughout the night and felt itchy against his skin. Or, perhaps, it was the wound itself. He more than likely had an infection and it was the last thing he wanted to worry about.</p><p>He reached for a comb and attempted to run it through his hair, wincing as it struggled against the snarls that had birthed in his sleep. His hair had grown quite long through the years. He now understood why his sister always had the palace groomers at her beck and call.</p><p>“I look like a mess,” he continued. His robes began sliding down his shoulders with each tug in the war he’d waged against his hair. “Palace security is on high alert. Mai is… as far away from me as she can possibly be, if I had to guess. And I don’t think I’m ready to-“</p><p>He stopped himself. He could feel the heat building inside him – an old anger that would always be there – begging to seep out into every inch of his being. He took a deep breath, feeling that heat grow ever so slightly as the morning sun finally peaked through the chamber windows and awakened his better senses. He closed his eyes, soaking it in before exhaling dramatically and letting the anger fall away; the comb pushed through a particularly difficult knot.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m in the right mindset to discuss the implementation of such important diplomatic measures,” he finished. The room was swallowed by silence. Perhaps because he’d demanded to be alone in it, and had yet to make it explicitly clear that he knew those orders had been disobeyed.</p><p>“You’re thinking I’ve finally lost my mind, aren’t you?” He called out to the shadows, “Well, I can assure you I haven’t. I know you’re there, Suki. I’m talking to you. I could use some guidance.”</p><p>He heard the landing of deft feet from her careful positioning amongst the ceiling supports. She emerged from the far side of his chamber, fully garbed in armor, her face painted beautifully and beyond recognition. She dropped down to one knee in an honorable bow just six feet behind him, her eyes to the floor. Zuko watched her through the mirror’s reflection.</p><p>“Allow me to speak freely, My Lord?” She asked, and her tone was filled with measured respect. Zuko’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he continued to hash at his hair.</p><p>“You’re my friend, Suki, not my servant. You’ve always been allowed to speak freely,” he told her.</p><p>She rose to her feet. Zuko watched as she straightened the robes beneath her armor and secured the sword at her side. She made eye contact with his reflection, a smirk at her lips.</p><p>“I think you’re an idiot,” she said. “Seriously, the biggest one I’ve ever met.”</p><p>Zuko whipped around with a glare, though it couldn’t have been all that intimidating given he still had a comb stuck in his hair. And the fact he had to visibly suppress a wince from the pain of his wound didn’t do him any favors. “Alright, calm down,” he snapped, “I may be your friend, but I’m still the Fire Lord.”</p><p>Suki’s smirk became a smile, because that he was. Zuko, Son of Ozai. Zuko, The Banished Prince. Zuko, The Blue Spirit. Zuko, Lord of the Fire Nation, who desperately needed a haircut.</p><p>“Yes, you are,” she said, and she approached Zuko with intentional steps, reaching for the trapped comb and freeing it from its prison. Zuko shut his eyes in humiliation as she set it aside. He felt the brush of his hair against his shoulders as she moved it away from his chest, and felt the careful touch of her fingers as she began working to unravel the blood soaked bandages. He allowed his robes to fall to the floor. “To think I’d ever see the day I’d refer to the man who burned my village and destroyed my way of life as my Lord.”</p><p>He kept his eyes closed as she worked, his jaw tightening along with his chest. The anger that lived inside him turned to shame in that moment – another emotion he was all too familiar with.</p><p>“I <em>will</em> rebuild Kyoshi, Suki,” he assured her, his voice soft. “I haven’t forgotten.”</p><p>Suki removed the final layer of bandages, forced to peel it off his skin in a rather unpleasant manor. Zuko didn’t bother to hide the pain as she discarded it.</p><p>She looked back up at him, still smiling as she brought a hand to his face, touching his scar, encouraging him to open his eyes. He did just that, and the shame in his chest slightly retracted when he saw the pure trust and adoration in her eyes. “I know you will, and I know you haven’t,” she said. “And I will witness that day at your side, before returning with you to the Fire Nation. This is my home now.”</p><p>He gave a soft smile and lifted a hand to cover hers, hoping the unending gratitude could be seen on his face. For what could he say to that? Thank you, for forgiving me. Thank you, for believing in me. Thank you, for spending years of your life away from the man you love in order to protect me, the man you once considered to be evil. He couldn’t say any of that. Instead he said, “I don’t deserve your loyalty.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes, “You do, and you have it.” Her hand fell from his face when she turned to retrieve the fresh bandages she’d stored in the armoire the night prior. It had been her last act before pretending to leave him for the night. Zuko already had his arms up in anticipation for her to redress the wound. She frowned at the sight of it. “It looks infected.”</p><p>Zuko sighed. “It probably is, but that’s the least of my worries.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, your state of mind.”</p><p>Zuko glared at her, “I’m being serious.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure,” said Suki. She began wrapping the gauze around his abdomen. “Being nervous about seeing Katara again is very serious. Much more serious than the Fire Nation hosting both Northern and Southern Water Tribe officials in efforts to implement trading policies that will help restore their nation to its former glory – I understand completely.”</p><p>She might as well have punched him, the way she blindsided him with that deduction. His glare intensified. “That has absolutely nothing to do with it!”</p><p>Suki sighed and ripped off the excess gauze. She took a step back to admire her handiwork before crossing her arms in preparation for the inevitable argument. She and Zuko had grown close over the years since the war’s end, which meant they fought almost daily.</p><p>“I think it has everything to do with it, Zuko. Why else would you be prattling on about trivial matters so early in the morning? You haven’t even gotten dressed yet. Don’t you think daybreak is just a tad too early to develop a sour mood? Even for you?”</p><p>“Trivial? I was stabbed!” Zuko gestured to the freshly dressed wound with enthusiasm, wincing just slightly, “And maybe I haven’t gotten dressed yet because I was hesitant to disrobe in front of the woman <em>lurking in my ceiling!</em>”</p><p>Suki’s blush was thankfully covered by the thick layer of ceremonious war paint. “Lurking? I was <em>protecting</em> you. I’m your royal guard, you idiot, it’s my <em>job</em> to be with you at all times. As you just so kindly reminded me, someone tried to assassinate you yesterday.”</p><p>“Yes,” he snapped, “and where were you then?”</p><p>The room fell quiet.</p><p>He regretted it the moment he said it. He didn’t mean it, and that wasn’t a fair thing to say.</p><p>Suki was there when it happened, of course, standing no more than ten feet away. But she had been lulled into a false sense of security after two long years of no incident. She had thought he could walk amongst his people and be loved. That he could shake hands and kiss babies. She had been wrong. And in that moment she realized she had lost sight of her duties. She hadn’t been standing there as a Kyoshi Warrior, or the head of Fire Lord Zuko’s royal guard. She had been standing there as a friend watching another friend having a good time, and she reacted to an atrocity instead of preventing one.</p><p>Her arms fell, and her hands curled into fists. She felt shame, he knew, but unlike him she would face it head on with unrelenting eye contact. She took a measured breath, weighing her response before speaking through gritted teeth.</p><p>“I look at you and I see an honorable man who fought by my side to restore peace to a world ravaged by a century of war,” she said. “I see a friend whom I’ve grown to love deeply despite his many flaws and horrible, <em>horrible</em> mistakes. So you must forgive me, because in that moment I forgot there are some who still see you as nothing more than those mistakes.”</p><p>Zuko remained silent. He figured that’d be best in order to prevent another attempt on his life.</p><p>“You’re a good man, Zuko, who’s done countless bad things. Wanting to sleep with your best friend’s wife is nothing in comparison to the many times you’ve tried to kill her,” she allowed that to settle. “Get over yourself. Get dressed. I’m going to see my husband for the first time in two years and I won’t let you ruin it for me.”</p><p>She gave Zuko one last look before unclenching her fists and moving towards the door. She paused in the threshold, looking back at him over her shoulder, “And have Ty Lee cut your hair for you; Katara liked it better short anyways.”</p><p>The door slammed shut behind her. Ty Lee dropped down from the ceiling with a sheepish smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. chapter two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's good to see you.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ty Lee had given him an excellent haircut. The length resembled that of which he’d ended the war with, but the edges were refined. There was not a split end to speak of as the palace groomers washed it clean before pulling it back into a regal top knot for his crown to be installed. They dressed him in formal wear. He typically found the silk robes and gold jewelry to be excessive and impersonal, but today he welcomed them. The occasion called for formality, and presenting as royalty allowed him to put distance between today’s events and yesterday’s assassination attempt. He’d almost forgotten about his carefully bandaged wound until he reunited with Suki in the courtyard.</p>
<p>“Yira, Hashi-“ Suki called, and the two guards flanking Zuko halted immediately to stand at attention. “Join Ty Lee at the palace entrance; we must ensure its security for the arrival of our guests. Fire Lord Zuko will be my personal responsibility today.”</p>
<p>Yira and Hashi bowed once for Suki, signifying their obedience. And then again for Zuko, bidding him farewell. “Please don’t leave me with her,” Zuko muttered quietly, bowing in return. He caught a glimpse of Yira’s smirk before she turned and went back the way she came.</p>
<p>Zuko turned towards Suki then, his eyes filled with apology before approaching her with regard. She was waiting for him to speak.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, “it was wrong of me to blame you for what happened.”</p>
<p>She said nothing at first. She watched him carefully to see if he’d waver, or perhaps qualify his apology. When he didn’t, she looked away. She watched as the turtle ducks swam in the pond. They were chasing each other – playing some sort of game.</p>
<p>“Yes, it was,” she said finally, and Zuko let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “But in a way, you were right.”</p>
<p>Zuko raised a brow, not having expected that. Suki never admitted when she was wrong. Suki never really was wrong.</p>
<p>“I was wrong to think your coronation would remain undisputed,” she continued. The mother turtle duck let out a significant <em>‘quack,’</em> scolding her children’s antics. “I did leave you last night. Hours into your sleep, I left you alone with Ty Lee. I left to interrogate our would-be assassin.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s hands balled into fists. A sharp twinge of pain ran through him, sourcing from his wound. He nodded for Suki to continue, deciding it best not to speak.</p>
<p>“He was a test-run, Zuko. Low level and irrelevant. An expendable member of a large group that has been growing silently under my watch. They call themselves the New Ozai Society. They wish to see you dead and have your father freed to be reinstated as Fire Lord.”</p>
<p>Quiet fell over them. All that could be heard were the animals of the courtyard. Zuko’s breathing became heavy and increasing in rate. His eyes were shut tight in anger, a kind he hadn’t felt for some time. It was the kind he reserved only for his father and the mention of his name. When he yelled out, it surprised him more than it did Suki. It had been instinct, the shouting, and so had the flames. The violent swing of his arms sent out a wave of scorching fire, one Suki ducked slightly to avoid. A family of dragonfly sparrows cried out as they fled from their now burning home.</p>
<p>“Why are you telling me this now?” He demanded.</p>
<p>Suki looked at him with empathy. She wanted to offer her comfort, but would not move near him. She no longer feared Zuko, but she did fear his rage. Those two were not the same, she had learned.</p>
<p>“Because I need your cooperation,” she told him. “I will no longer be allowing you the freedom you once had, and it would be easier on all of us if you don’t fight me every step of the way.”</p>
<p>Zuko said nothing. He struggled to control his breathing. The fires he started flared to the beat of his heavy pulse.</p>
<p>“And because I want you to consider punishing the assassin for his treason,” said Suki.</p>
<p>Zuko narrowed his gaze.</p>
<p>“And how would you suggest I do that?” He asked.</p>
<p>Suki looked away for only a moment. The turtle ducks were huddled at the far side of the pond, away from the fires. When she looked back up to her Lord, conviction had replaced her empathy.</p>
<p>“Public Execution. Alongside your father.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The ceremonious drums were nearly loud enough to erase the deafening hum of Zuko’s thoughts. He wished Suki had postponed their prior conversation until after the assembly, but he now understood why she wanted to have it then. Zuko had been insistent upon greeting the water tribe officials at the harbor, right when they arrived, but it was clear now that Suki had no intentions of allowing him to leave palace grounds. Fire Lord Zuko, Master to the Avatar, was now on house arrest.</p>
<p>The tsungi horns began to play and the drums became louder. The procession finally came into view. Fire Nation soldiers led the charge with Water Tribe flags held high in celebration. Imperial firebenders followed them as a surrounding force, encasing the large steel carriages transporting their honored guests.</p>
<p>Chief Arnook of the Northern Water Tribe sat at the helm of the first carriage. His face was stern and uncertain, as were the faces of his surrounding advisors. Zuko knew earning his trust and the trust of his people would be a long and arduous process. The Fire Nation’s siege on the North Pole created a wound much deeper than the one in Zuko’s side. And as the komodo rhinos leading the carriage pulled them into position at the bottom of the grand palace steps, Zuko wondered if that wound could be healed.</p>
<p>And when the second carriage came into view, he knew the answer was yes, it could be, because that second carriage held friends. Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe sat at the helm, a smile spread wide across his face. General Sokka had one to match; he waved out to the bystanders with giddy enthusiasm, forcing Zuko to crack a smile.</p>
<p>And then he saw her.</p>
<p>Katara.</p>
<p>She sat at the right hand of her father looking more beautiful than Zuko ever remembered. Her dark skin glistened in the sunlight, contrasting beautifully against the white fur of her ceremonious garb. The dark blue and purple pelts fit snug against her body, her shoulders left exposed but her arms draped in an ornate cape that presented her as the royalty she now was.</p>
<p>Zuko did not take his eyes off her. When their carriage pulled into position, Katara’s eyes lifted, and found his. And in that moment, he forgot he was meant to stand from his palanquin and address the crowd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Y’know, I thought after two years of being Fire Lord you’d be a bit more… <em>lordly</em>. But, nope! You’re just as awkward as I remember you!”</p>
<p>The slap of Sokka’s hand on Zuko’s shoulder radiated down to his wounded abdomen. The pleasant ring of Suki’s laugh served well in masking his pained grunt. Sadly, there was no hiding the blush on his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Don’t be rude, Sokka,” said Katara. She emerged from the lively crowd centered in the grand palace ballroom. That dark hair surrounded her like a veil, parts of it pinned back and sporadically braided. Her smile was teasing. “I thought it was a lovely speech. Very… improvised.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s blush deepened, his eyes lowering. “I guess I still get stage fright,” he lied.</p>
<p>She grabbed his elbow, forcing him to look at her, and his chest did this <em>thing</em> he didn’t like. And when she pulled him into a warm hug, his chest did this other thing, a second thing similar to the first, but different – more aggressive. And it was probably because he could smell her like this. She smelled like moonlight and ocean water, and it was the only smell he wanted to smell for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>“It’s good to see you, Zuko,” she said.</p>
<p>“It’s good to see you too, Katara.”</p>
<p>They pulled away from each other, but Katara kept hold of his elbow. Zuko avoided Suki’s knowing gaze and turned towards Sokka. “You too, Sokka. I’ve missed you both.”</p>
<p>Sokka’s grin was goofy and wide. He’d grown taller over the years, and his face had matured.</p>
<p>His personality hadn’t.</p>
<p>“We’ve missed you too, buddy,” said Sokka. “Things get too cheery when you’re not around. Now, whenever Katara gets a little too high on optimism, I ask myself, how would Zuko set fire to this parade?”</p>
<p>Suki’s laughter grew louder.</p>
<p>“And it usually works wonders,” Katara assured. She gave Zuko a playful look, “but it’s not the same as the real thing.”</p>
<p>There was something in her voice, Zuko realized. Her tone was gentle; almost apologetic. For what, he didn’t know. Perhaps he was imagining it.</p>
<p>He laughed softly.</p>
<p>“Hopefully I can show you I’ve grown to be less… grouchy.”</p>
<p>“That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one,” said Suki.</p>
<p>Katara and Sokka laughed harmoniously. Zuko joined in at his own expense. The music in the ballroom appeared to soften as the chatter of Water Tribe and Fire Nation officials grew louder. Zuko looked out into the crowd and instantly regretted it. Many expectant eyes had managed to find his.</p>
<p>“I wish I could stay and talk more,” said Zuko. He lifted a hand to cover Katara’s, squeezing it, “I promise we’ll have plenty of time to catch up.”</p>
<p>She smiled, squeezing back before letting go. She stared after him as he left to go be awkward somewhere else. Suki followed close behind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Leave me a present.(:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. chapter three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko revisits old memories.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He could hear their whispering.</p>
<p>The wall was thin by design due to Suki’s insistence. Her many years of training allowed her to waken at the snap of a tree branch, but a tree branch couldn’t be heard through metal walls. So the one that separated Suki and Zuko’s chambers had been torn down and replaced with thin wood paneling. And a door was installed – one without a lock. Privacy, she had said, was a sacrifice to be made for safety.</p>
<p>He wondered now if she regretted those words, knowing he was listening.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you can’t sleep in with me tomorrow?” He heard Sokka ask. “I don’t have to be anywhere until noon. Think of all the fun we could have…”</p>
<p>Zuko fought the childish urge to gag. He began removing his jewelry and preparing for bed, making a conscious effort not to listen.</p>
<p>“Zuko’s day begins at dawn, which means mine does too,” said Suki. “I’m his bodyguard, Sokka.”</p>
<p>It was rather difficult to not listen when they were talking about him. He let out an exasperated sigh, secretly hoping it was loud enough for them to hear and perhaps take a hint.</p>
<p>“Oh, <em>come on</em>,” Sokka whined. “Dork Lord Zuko can guard his own body. He’s a master firebender. Learned from the Great Dragons themselves! He’ll be <em>fine</em>.”</p>
<p>Zuko narrowed his eyes. He was trying to decide if he was more offended by <em>Dork Lord</em> than he was relieved by the fact Suki clearly hadn’t told Sokka of the assassination attempt. Judging by Suki’s pause, she was considering it. Zuko took off the last of his jewelry and began dismantling his robes.</p>
<p>“He needs me, Sokka,” Suki finally said. “I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him.”</p>
<p>This time it was Sokka who paused. Zuko’s outermost robe slid to the ground. He reached up gingerly to undo the top knot in his hair, pulling the ribbon slowly as not to disturb his wound.</p>
<p>“You two seem to have gotten close while I’ve been gone,” said Sokka. “Should I be worried?”</p>
<p>Suki’s laughter was far from hushed. Whether that was because she couldn’t contain it, or because she wanted Zuko to hear it, he wasn’t sure. Either way it wasn’t appreciated.</p>
<p>The idea wasn’t so ridiculous, after all. They had a moment, once, fourteen months into his reign. One month after Mai left him. They’d been sparring out in the courtyard during a late fall evening. The sun had gone down and the air had been crisp.</p>
<p>And they had been lonely.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’d be upset if you weren’t so warm,” said Suki. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She was panting as she spoke. Zuko had her pinned down against the ground with his left forearm flat against her collarbone, and his right hand supporting his own weight just to the left of her head. His knees had both her arms locked firmly against her sides, just like she’d taught him, leaving little opportunity for retaliation. This was the first time he’d managed to best her without the use of firebending. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He smirked. “I don’t have to get up just yet. I’m enjoying the victory.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Suki rolled her eyes before squirming underneath him, testing his hold. She managed to wiggle her arms out from the grip of his knees, but the freedom was short lived. Like lightning, her hands were pinned down above her head. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Where do you think you’re going?” Zuko taunted. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Suki’s panting became quieter. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Nowhere,” she said, and those large brown eyes looked up at him with admiration. She was proud of him. She wanted him to see that.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>In that moment he realized she loved him, and he knew that he loved her too. And maybe it was all the testosterone pumping through him, or the romance of the moonlight that led him to misinterpret that love. Maybe it was the month without sex that had felt more like a year. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Or, for Suki, the actual year.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He kissed her, and she kissed him back. And when he pulled away, allowing her free movement, she sat up and kissed him again. She placed a hand at the back of his head and kissed him hard and deep and passionately. Then she pulled away quickly, and with apology.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I’m sorry,” she said. She glanced away, ashamed.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “No, I’m sorry,” Zuko insisted. “You’re married, and I’m… an asshole.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Suki got up from the ground and began dusting her pants. Yira and Hashi could be seen in the distance, standing dutifully at attention.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah, you are,” she said, and there was bitterness in her tone that made Zuko both confused and a little angry. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You kissed me as well,” he reminded. Suki glared at him. The air became colder. A soft wind picked up in the trees. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I kissed you because you’re attractive, and I’m horny,” she said, and it somehow sounded like an insult. “You kissed me because you’re sad. And because your mother left you when you were eight.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She began fixing her hair in a hurry, allowing the quiet of the courtyard to underline her words.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m going to bed,” she said. “Goodnight, Lord Zuko.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And she left him there, sitting on the ground, forced to think about what she had meant. </em>
</p>
<p>It took a few weeks for that night to fade into an awkward memory. It was only recently that Zuko had begun to understand the meaning behind her words.</p>
<p>Suki’s laughter continued.</p>
<p>“Worried about me and Zuko? Maybe about us murdering each other!” She said, “Trust me, handsome, you’re the only one for me. Come here.”  </p>
<p>The noises that followed were even less appreciated. The urge to gag came back full force, and Zuko ignored the discomfort of quick movement in efforts to undress faster.</p>
<p>“Well, this is awkward,” said a voice from<em> inside</em> his bedroom.</p>
<p>Zuko whipped around, his last robe falling from his shoulders as he did so, leaving him only in a pair of silk trousers. Ty Lee was standing in the far shadows of the room, barely visible by candlelight. Zuko rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Can’t you go back up into the ceiling?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Now that you know I’m here, that would just be silly.”</p>
<p>The truth was Zuko had known she was there since he entered the room, and had chosen to pretend that she wasn’t. There was nothing he could do about it. Distracted by her husband as she currently may have been, Suki had made it perfectly clear that Zuko would be under around-the-clock supervision.</p>
<p>Ty Lee twirled towards him, the candlelight dancing in the green silk of her robes. Her movements were fluid and spritely as she bent down to collect his forgotten clothing, draping them over a steady arm. She brought them to the armoire, hanging them neatly before returning with a loose pair of black cotton trousers meant for sleeping. Zuko snatched them with muttered thanks, not having meant to sound as irritated as he did. Ty Lee remained unbothered, turning around to give him the illusion of privacy.</p>
<p>He changed quickly, laying out the silk pants at the edge of his bed before taking a seat next to them. He was tired. Hours of feigned excitement and celebration had drained him. He should have enjoyed it more, considering the upcoming days were to be filled with deliberation and politics. And how was he meant to focus on any of that with Katara here, and Suki’s proposition taking up the forefront of his mind?</p>
<p>And Sokka’s… <em>moaning</em>.</p>
<p>Zuko stood up in a hurry.</p>
<p>“I’m going for a walk,” he declared. He blew past Ty Lee to grab a tunic from his drawers, throwing it on with haste. “Am I still allowed that much? Can I take a walk around my own palace?”</p>
<p>Ty Lee smiled brightly. She cartwheeled to the chamber door, opening it for him with a bow. “After you, My Lord.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He walked for a while. Ty Lee followed just a few short steps behind him. He appreciated her restraint as she remained silent, allowing him to bask in the solitude. The summer air had become cool in the sun’s absence, and yesterday’s rain had erased the humidity. It felt nice, his skin being able to breathe under loose clothing, free from the confines of ceremonial dress.</p>
<p>He hesitated when he saw her.</p>
<p>She sat there submerged in the Northern lakes of the palace. Her dark hair encompassed her, floating ethereally atop the water surrounding her shoulders. Her head rested against volcanic rock. Her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful in the moonlight.</p>
<p>He approached her with regard.</p>
<p>“Lord Zuko,” she greeted, her eyes still closed, and it was the first time she’d ever used his title.</p>
<p>It sounded strange on her tongue, but not unpleasant.</p>
<p>“Princess Katara,” he replied. He sat down at the edge of the lake, placing his feet in the water.</p>
<p>Ty Lee danced over to stand next to Koa, Katara’s personal guard. The two engaged themselves in quiet conversation. They had met earlier, it seemed.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t sleep?” She asked.</p>
<p>She opened her eyes to look at him, her face soft.</p>
<p>Zuko gave an awkward smile. “Suki’s room is right next to mine,” he told her.</p>
<p>Katara raised an eyebrow. “That would make sense, wouldn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course,” Zuko agreed. He rubbed at the back of his neck. “It’s just; your brother is also staying in her room.”</p>
<p>There were only a few moments of silence before realization hit her, and a look of disgust took over her features. Zuko laughed quietly, and Katara laughed too.  </p>
<p>Their laughter faded away and more silence befell them. All that could be heard was the sound of still water and quiet chatter. Ty Lee giggled in the distance at something Koa had said. Her fingers slid flirtatiously along the handle of his whale tooth spear. A group of badger frogs croaked in the distance.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Zuko,” said Katara. He looked at her strangely.</p>
<p>“It’s not that big of a deal. They haven’t seen each other in a long time.”</p>
<p>Katara shook her head. “No, no, not that,” she said. “I meant, I’m sorry for-“</p>
<p>She paused, sighing. Her eyes were lost. She looked over towards Koa and Ty Lee, her face apparent with concern.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about them,” said Zuko. The truth was it didn’t matter if they were listening. As far as his guard was concerned, they were sworn to secrecy. And what Suki knew, Ty Lee knew, and Suki knew everything. Thus were the intricacies of being royalty. Katara was new to it all.</p>
<p>“They look busy,” he assured.</p>
<p>Katara turned back to him, that soft smile returning.</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>“The night of your coronation,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. You were so… <em>happy</em>. Truly happy. It was the first time I’d ever seen you that way. And… I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Zuko remembered the night vividly.</p>
<p>He remembered waking to the touch of her hand, her fingers tracing along the edge of his scar.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Katara?” He whispered. His voice sounded heavy with sleep.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She shushed him. She pulled the sheets back and sat at the edge of his bed. Her hands traced the length of his bare chest. Her fingers found the edge of a new scar, the one at his center, the one he’d earned whilst saving her life.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>His hands found her waist, and she looked at him in a way he hadn’t seen before. </em>
</p>
<p>“You have nothing to apologize for,” he told her.</p>
<p>She looked down at the water. The moonlight reflected off its surface, bringing light to the blush on her cheeks. She looked beautiful like that.</p>
<p>“Won’t you join me?” She asked. The water rippled in invitation, splashing at his knees. It didn’t appear as though she had done it intentionally; the lake just seemed to move with her.</p>
<p>“I can’t,” said Zuko.</p>
<p>Katara looked at him curiously.</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>He hesitated to answer. He placed a hand over his torso, looking at her with measure.</p>
<p>“I have bandages,” he said. “I don’t want them to get wet.”</p>
<p>Katara frowned.</p>
<p>The still lake began to move. Soft waves formed a large tide that carried her across the way, delivering her to his feet. She stared up at him expectantly, her hands finding the bottom of his tunic.</p>
<p>“May I?” she asked, and Zuko lifted his arms in compliance. He sat quietly as she discarded the shirt, and dismantled the bandages. Her fingers fell first to the scar in his center, tracing it reverently before falling to the fresh wound beneath it.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me?”</p>
<p>Zuko didn’t have an answer for that.</p>
<p>“You spent all day like this, and for what?”</p>
<p>He watched as she pulled the water from the lake and used it to encase her hand like a second skin. She pressed that hand against his wound, and the soft glow of her abilities lit up the night around them. Everything fell away in layers. The pain, the itchiness, even the humiliation – she washed it away like she always did, with everyone.</p>
<p>Zuko smiled. He placed a hand over hers.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Katara.”</p>
<p>She smiled back at him.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments make me smile.(:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. chapter four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Politics and deliberation.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The way her hips fit against his drove him insane.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He wanted to keep her here forever, trapped between his body and the mattress. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, his lips finding the soft spot beneath her ear, his tongue pressing against her pulse. He wondered if she’d let him – keep her like this, that is. Keep her right here, as his, forever. He wondered if that was her intention when she snuck into his room and crawled into his bed.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Another part of him didn’t care.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That part of him was primal need, and the feeling of her sex rubbing against his erection. That part of him decided it didn’t matter if it was forever, because she was his right now, and he was going to show her that.</em>
</p>
<p>“You’re moving better,” said Suki.</p>
<p>Zuko slipped into his robes with ease, his reflection this morning a tad more bearable. He’d even brushed his own hair like a self-respecting adult.</p>
<p>“It hurts much less now,” he told her. He began adjusting his sleeves. He’d be doing a lot of scribing today and part of him wished he could attend these meetings in a sleeveless tunic. Sokka’s snoring from the next room could be heard in the background.</p>
<p>“I can imagine,” she said. Her tone was all-knowing. Zuko was foolish to think Ty Lee hadn’t told her when the sun had already been up for an hour. She said nothing more, however, which surprised him. She typically never passed on an opportunity to tease him.</p>
<p>“The council is expecting you shortly,” she said. “They’d like for you to review their proposal. Water Tribe officials will be joining after lunch.”</p>
<p>Zuko watched as she leaned up against the dresser and glanced out the window. Her arms were crossed but she appeared relaxed. She seemed peaceful, even. Last night had served her well, it seemed.</p>
<p>“Gyin and Ni Sa will be with you for the morning,” she continued. “Yira and Hashi will take over in the afternoon.”</p>
<p>Zuko raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“What happened to you not letting me out of your sight?” He asked.</p>
<p>Suki smirked.</p>
<p>“I get tired of looking at you.”</p>
<p>Zuko chose not to respond as a practice of self-restraint. He pulled his hair up into a top knot and reached for a silk ribbon, tying it carefully, and enjoying the fact he could do so without pain. His crown sat in a velvet case inside the open armoire. He ran fingers across the gold plating out of reverence. Or perhaps it was resentment.</p>
<p>It was probably both.</p>
<p>“You’ve done a lot of good work here in the Fire Nation, Lord Zuko.” Suki stood from where she was leaning. Her tone had shifted. “Over these past two years I’ve watched you shape this country into one I’m proud to be a part of. But today is different.”</p>
<p>Zuko looked at her with question.</p>
<p>“Sokka, Hakoda and Katara are friends, but the rest of these people don’t trust you, and they certainly don’t trust this nation. They’ve been burned too many times.”</p>
<p>The Fire Lord’s chest began to feel heavy. Hearing words you already knew from the lips of somebody trusted was a particular kind of awful.</p>
<p>“They will be vocal about their mistrust, as they should, and you will find it more than insulting,” she said.</p>
<p>“Keep that temper of yours in check.”</p>
<p>Silence swallowed the room. Sokka’s snoring seemed to grow louder.</p>
<p>Zuko offered a stiff nod in return before lifting his crown.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You <em>dare </em>suggest the deployment of Fire Nation troops into our lands?”</p>
<p>The tension in the room was nearing insufferable. The Water Tribe officials sat uneasy. Chief Arnook wore a mask of absolute scrutiny, his silence somehow presenting louder than the boisterous tone taken by his most trusted advisor.</p>
<p>“It wouldn’t be a deployment,” General Yuzao assured. “They are military, yes, but these men and women have never seen combat. Perhaps they once considered themselves soldiers, but they are much more than that. They are doctors, engineers, <em>scientists – </em>good people who-“</p>
<p>“<em>Good?</em>” Councilman Raku pressed on. “Those people laid siege to the North Pole no more than three years ago. Who cares if they never stepped off the ship? They were the ones who designed it!”</p>
<p>Zuko was doing that thing with his thumbs he tended to do. To anyone else, it seemed pensive. For people that knew him, it was an obvious sign of stress. Sokka’s gaze could be felt from across the room, as could Katara’s sympathy.</p>
<p>General Yuzao sighed, exasperated, and Zuko could hardly blame him. He and Raku had been butting heads since the very start of this assembly. Anything he said was met with dispute. Zuko now fully understood the meaning of what Suki had told him.</p>
<p>These people didn’t trust them. Even worse, they had every reason not to. It was more than skepticism. It was hatred. Deep rooted hatred that had festered over the course of one hundred years. </p>
<p>“Councilman Raku, if I may?”</p>
<p>All eyes turned towards him in an instant. It was the first time he’d spoken since the assembly’s beginning.</p>
<p>“Of course, <em>Your Highness</em>,” Raku sneered.</p>
<p>Zuko put everything he had into controlling his temper. Belittlement would not get the best of him. If growing up with his sister taught him anything, it was how to ignore.</p>
<p>“I was there during the Fire Nation’s siege on the North Pole,” said Zuko. “What we brought to your land was chaos and destruction. The lives we took from you can never be restored, and for that we are truly ashamed.”</p>
<p>For a moment, there was quiet. The councilman looked at him with measure. Chief Arnook looked at him with something else entirely. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.</p>
<p>“Apologies don’t fix anything,” said Raku.</p>
<p>“No, they don’t,” Zuko agreed. “Actions do.”</p>
<p>More silence. Chief Arnook leaned forward, folding his hands under his chin. His expression remained unchanged.</p>
<p>“And what actions are you willing to take, Lord Zuko?” The Chief asked.</p>
<p>Zuko took a steady breath. He scanned the room, catching eyes with Hakoda as he did so. The elder man offered a nod of fatherly encouragement.</p>
<p> “We don’t want our troops occupying Water Tribe lands,” said Zuko. “We want to help you rebuild your nation, and we’re offering some of our best minds to help you do just that.”</p>
<p>For once, Councilman Raku seemed… pensive. Quiet befell the room for a brief moment before a steady chatter rose amongst the Water Tribe. They spoke gently amongst themselves, and the Fire Nation council sat respectfully as they did so. General Yuzao leaned towards Zuko with a rather gratified expression. He murmured, “Wonderfully done, my lord.”</p>
<p>Zuko let out a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>This was different, he realized. He’d spent the past two years altering the structure of his own government. He’d replaced the entirety of his cabinet, doing away with anyone who expressed loyalty to his father. He replaced them with idealists - men and women with altruism in their hearts. Together, they continued to pass legislation that would restore kindness to their kingdom. And while that work wasn’t easy, it was being done entirely by those who benefitted from previous years of war and destruction. They could detest the fact all they wanted, but it sadly remained the truth.</p>
<p>“Rebuild it how?”</p>
<p>Zuko retracted his sigh.</p>
<p>All heads turned towards Katara. She was looking right at him. That soft expression he’d grown accustomed to was nowhere to be seen. “I’m sorry?” He asked.</p>
<p>“How would you rebuild it?” She repeated herself without hesitation. “With iron walls and industrialization?”</p>
<p>Zuko felt his stomach tighten into something solid. There was a fire in her eyes that he recognized – one that had a tendency to paralyze him. For a moment, it felt as though they were the only two in the room.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I don’t-“</p>
<p>“I’ve seen the affect your factories have,” she continued, cutting him off. “They would do nothing more than pollute our oceans and disrupt the moon’s tide. And for what? So the Fire Nation’s greatness can be spread beyond its borders? Isn’t that what started the war so many years ago?”</p>
<p>The quiet chatter grew into a roar. The Water Tribe officials could be heard muttering in agreement. General Yuzao’s gratification slipped away and the Fire Nation council grew uneasy, looking towards Zuko for guidance he no longer had to give.</p>
<p>“Princess Katara is right,” said Arnook. The room settled to lend him their ear. Zuko prayed his nervousness could not be detected. “Our culture and way of life needs no improvement. We have survived many years without industrial advancements. Our communion with nature has always been the backbone of our society. We don’t need anyone attempting to jeopardize that connection.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes were still locked with Katara’s. She remained steady in her composure. Zuko wondered if this was how his father felt, when he’d spoken against him in the war room.</p>
<p>“Then what is it you need?” Zuko asked, his eyes refusing to leave hers.</p>
<p>Chief Arnook turned towards his council. They exchanged only a few words, deliberating on proposals previously discussed.</p>
<p>“We have been separated from our sister tribe for far too long, along with the rest of the world,” said Arnook. “What we need is communication, and tourism. The Air Nomads, as great as they were, were eliminated swiftly due to their refusal to stake claim on this earth. Meanwhile, the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdoms stretched themselves over many miles. If we continue to limit ourselves to the poles, I fear we will once again become isolated. With the Fire Nation’s… <em>help</em>… we can establish Water Tribe colonies across the globe that will encourage others to learn of our culture, and perhaps allow us to prosper in this global economy.”</p>
<p>Zuko broke eye contact with Katara, his council now demanding his attention. Their hushed whisperings, while not opposed, were skeptical. The Fire Nation’s proposal had taken weeks of deliberation and now had been completely disregarded. The establishment of Water Tribe colonies had neither been discussed nor even considered. General Yuzao placed a steady hand on Zuko’s shoulder. He whispered, “My lord, should we not reconvene?”</p>
<p>Zuko nodded. He looked back to Katara, and then pointedly towards Chief Arnook.</p>
<p>“We need time to discuss,” he said. “Allow us to review your proposal. We’ll continue tomorrow morning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The throne room proved useful for meditation and nothing more. Zuko never saw the point in them anyways. What use was a room designated to a man’s own self-importance?</p>
<p>Gone were the days of servants kneeling before the Fire Lord, foreheads to the ground, beseeching his mercy. The flames that expanded the stage-front no longer burned hot with the genocidal rage of his forefathers. Instead, they’d rise and fall steadily with measured breath.</p>
<p>Yira and Hashi stood guard behind him. Their presence allowed him the peace he so desperately needed after a long day of political deliberation.</p>
<p>“Hey, Zuko,” said Sokka. “Suki said I could find you here.”</p>
<p>The flames subsided into smoke.</p>
<p>“Of course she did,” Zuko muttered. Yira and Hashi giggled in the background.</p>
<p>Zuko opened his eyes, offering Sokka a forced smile.</p>
<p>“What’s up?”</p>
<p>Sokka rubbed at the back of his neck. His eyes were pointed to the ground. He was doing this thing with his foot where he dragged it from left to right, kicking at nothing.</p>
<p>“Oh, nothing,” he lied. “I just, you know, wanted to check on you. See how you were doing after Katara… Well, humiliated you in front of your entire council.”</p>
<p>Zuko narrowed his eyes. The flame wall reignited.</p>
<p>“She didn’t humiliate me,” Zuko assured.</p>
<p>The look Sokka gave him wasn’t appreciated.</p>
<p>“Yeah, she… kinda did. Like, <em>badly</em>,” said Sokka. “She didn’t mean to, though! And even though I agree with everything she said, she probably could have said it a little… nicer.”</p>
<p>Zuko frowned.</p>
<p>“Did she say that herself?”</p>
<p>Sokka shook his head.</p>
<p>“No,” he said. “But she <em>is </em>worried you’re mad at her. She didn’t say that either, but I can tell.”</p>
<p>The flames dwindled to a mere flicker. Zuko could feel the eyes of his guard pouring into his shoulders.</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure how to respond.</p>
<p>“I’m not mad at her,” he said. It took saying it out loud to realize he was lying. But he wasn’t mad at what she’d said at the assembly. “Your sister spoke up for the good of her people. She fulfilled her duty as royalty. And she did it with more grace than I ever could.”</p>
<p>Zuko took a deep breath. The flames were now fully extinguished.</p>
<p>“Tell her she has nothing to worry about.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can't tell if this is my favorite chapter or my least favorite. Tell me what you think? (:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. chapter five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko takes a personal day and exercises healthy coping mechanisms.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The assembly had to be postponed to the surprise of absolutely no one. It was for the best, Zuko knew. Tensions were high after yesterday’s negotiations and Zuko could only imagine he wasn’t alone in needing a day’s rest. And despite the inherent guilt that came with treating himself to a personal day, he was committed to doing just that.</p><p>He was laid out in the tea room, sprawled across an ottoman with a cup of hot jasmine sitting nearby. He wore loose fitting pants and nothing more. Fire Nation summers were unbearably hot and he planned on sparring later. With whom, he hadn’t decided, but there were three Kyoshi Warriors within his immediate vicinity who were unlikely to turn down the opportunity.</p><p>“Where are Yira and Hashi?” Zuko asked, “Did Suki give them the day off?”</p><p>Gyin looked up from her nails, having taken a glove off to inspect them quite thoroughly.</p><p>“I think so,” she said. “And if they both have the day off, I’m sure we all know how they’re spending it.”</p><p>Zuko let out something of a laugh, for that was certainly true. The glances between them were telling, even in all their stoic professionalism. Zuko once thought they’d been hiding it from him. He soon discovered they were hiding it from everybody.</p><p> “It’s so cute how they think we don’t know,” said Ni Sa. She was sitting on the nearby sofa. She crossed her arms and leaned back into the cushions.</p><p>Ty Lee giggled behind him. She was sat on the ground, legs crossed, braiding his hair.</p><p>The tea room was located deep within the palace’s center. It was a small room with ornate decoration, velvet furniture and gold trim. It had a single door and no windows, only small gaps in the ceiling to allow ventilation. It was, ironically, the most secure room in the palace, allowing his guard to be more lax in their work ethic. Still, it was amusing to see them like this. The most elite team of warriors the Earth Kingdom had to offer, fully armed and armored, on duty, gossiping about their coworkers.</p><p>“They know we know,” said Ty Lee. “They just don’t want us to know they know we know. Because then we could tease them about it, you know? Zuko, <em>stop moving!</em>”</p><p>His head was yanked back in punishment. “Sorry,” he muttered, entirely passive.</p><p>Ni Sa chuckled, offering a feigned look of sympathy. “I like your hair braided, Lord Zuko,” she said. “You should have kept it long. It would have been very Ba Sing Se chic.”</p><p>Zuko rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I think he should bring back the ponytail,” said Gyin.</p><p>The women laughed all at once. Zuko tried to hide his own smirk and failed miserably. The chatter continued, and he tried to think back and pinpoint the moment his social life became nothing more than being teased mercilessly by the same six women. Not that he minded, really. These women were his friends. More than that, they were his family. And with Mai gone it was truly a comfort. He didn’t exactly get out much even before being placed on house arrest and it felt good to just be… <em>liked</em>. It’d been awhile since he felt that way.</p><p> </p><p>He hit the ground hard. His left hip suffered the brunt of it, and he cursed himself for not bracing the fall sooner. Still, he rolled, successfully dodging Gyin’s left heel as it swung down, unrelenting, attempting to connect with the back of his shoulder. He kipped up back into fighting stance, eyes narrowed, tracking her movements. She was calm, but determined. He could see it in her eyes – her unwillingness to forfeit. And she had the upper hand given his injuries. If he wanted to win, he’d have to be crafty. A straight forward fight would not tilt in his favor.</p><p>“How long has this been going on?”</p><p>He recognized the voice immediately.</p><p>It was <em>almost</em> enough to distract him. The quick jabs Gyin dealt were expertly placed and he evaded them just barely. Her smirk told him she’d noticed. The encouragement was worrisome.</p><p>“Twenty-five minutes, give or take,” said Ni Sa. “But it should be over shortly. Lord Zuko’s left side is weak, and Gyin’s been waiting to get back at him ever since he forgot her birthday last month.”</p><p>With no openings in sight, he brought it back to fundamentals. A jab, a cross and a hook, all three of which she blocked quite effortlessly, but she failed to account for the final cross. She took the hit; one with more force behind it than was probably necessary and Zuko caught her by the elbow before she went down, his face turning smug.</p><p>“We could call it one,” he offered, and Gyin smirked at him in reply. He realized then that he probably should’ve let her hit the ground.</p><p>She used his grip on her elbow to pull him close, kneeing him in his left side before tossing him to the ground without mercy. Zuko made sure to take note of that as his face became re-acquainted with hot stone. Groaning, he rolled over onto his back, accepting his defeat as Gyin straddled his chest, pinning his arms against his sides.</p><p>“Sure, we can call it one,” she said, and her lips spread into a victorious grin. Zuko frowned before tapping out against the ground.</p><p>She stood from his chest before offering a hand. Zuko took it with muttered thanks, trying his best to seem less pained than he obviously was. Of course, these injuries weren’t worrisome. Compared to his previous stab wound they were trivial. Childish, even. They’d most likely bruise and fade away after a few days.</p><p>Of course, there was always a quicker option.</p><p>Katara sat on the edge of the fountain, her legs crossed and a soft smile on her face. She was clearly amused by his defeat and Zuko tried not to be offended by it. He accepted the towel Ni Sa offered him as he approached the fountain, wiping the sweat from his forehead before sitting down next to Katara. Ty Lee sprung up from her seat on the floor, cartwheeling towards Gyin with enthusiasm. She wielded her fans and the two began sparring in a playful manner.</p><p>In that moment, there was nothing sour between them. They just watched in silence as the summer’s day moved forward. There was no war in their history and negotiations were irrelevant. They weren’t esteemed royalty of former enemy nations and she certainly wasn’t the strong-willed princess who’d made a fool of him yesterday. In that moment, she was Katara; the young girl who was forced to be a woman far sooner than anyone should’ve allowed. She was the friend who’d cried into his shoulder for hours in the rain because she discovered herself incapable of murder. She was the friend who’d just watched him get his ass kicked, and was clearly trying hard not to comment on it.</p><p>“I like the braids,” said Katara, breaking the silence in a way only she knew how.</p><p>Zuko gave a dry laugh. He ran a hand over his head, noticing the two braids had indeed stayed intact during the fight.</p><p>“Ty Lee,” he said, as though it were all the explanation needed. “I’ve found its best to just go along with whatever makes her happy. And it doesn’t look awful.”  </p><p>Katara’s soft smile turned into a smirk. “No,” she said. “Not awful.”</p><p>Zuko frowned, bumping her arm with his elbow in jest.</p><p>“Haven’t you been mean enough?” He asked, and why – <em>why </em>did he say that? What could have possibly possessed him to say that and ruin this moment?</p><p>Given the look on Katara’s face, she was thinking the same thing. Ni Sa stood just a few feet away, glancing between them and the girls sparring nearby. She was wondering which fight would be more worth watching.</p><p>Katara took a deep breath, and Zuko recognized that breath. She was attempting to control the rage.</p><p>“I suppose I have.”</p><p>He looked at her in surprise, and she continued to look forward. The sun felt warm against their skin. The sound of the fountain allowed for their silence to be a comfortable one. Gyin and Ty Lee continued to fight and it was starting to look more like a dance. Zuko wondered if Katara had a Gyin and Ty Lee. He wondered if she had a Suki too, back in the Southern Water Tribe.</p><p>Together they watched, inches apart, not saying a word. The summer’s day moved forward regardless.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Mai, please, just <strong>talk </strong>to me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sounded pathetic. He knew he sounded pathetic. And as he watched her continue to collect her things – slow and intentional, as though she’d gone over the list a dozen times – he <strong>felt </strong>pathetic. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“There’s nothing to talk about, Zuko. I’m leaving. At least I have the decency to say it to your face.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was such a small bag. Where was she going with such a small bag? And she knew exactly what to put in it. How did she know that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sat down at the edge of the bed, his energy depleted from hours of fighting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This is ridiculous,” he said. “This is fucking ridiculous. You’re overreacting and you know it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t tell me I’m overreacting.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was so calm. She always was. As much as they fought, they never <strong>truly</strong> fought. Zuko was fairly certain that in order for it to be considered a fight, both parties had to be equally outraged, and that was never the case. Their fights had always been him screaming about the things that didn’t matter and her ignoring the things that did. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It was a late meeting, Mai. I couldn’t exactly walk out of it,” said Zuko. “And I didn’t think this dinner party was that important to you; you don’t even like dinner parties. A week ago you told me if you had to endure another overcooked duck roast you would splinter the beak and shove each piece under every single one of your fingernails.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This isn’t about the stupid dinner party.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was folding her clothes into such neat piles. She was choosing them so carefully. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Then what is it about, Mai? Have I not been giving you enough attention?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mai rolled her eyes. She actually stopped what she was doing so Zuko could see her rolling her eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m not a houseplant, Zuko,” she told him. “You give me plenty of attention. You’re kind, you’re considerate, and I don’t think I’ll ever find a more capable lover.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She began sorting through her knife collection, polishing them individually before packing them away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Then what <strong>is</strong> it?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She sighed, her shoulders dropping. She stopped moving for the first time. A knife dangled loosely in her left hand as she turned to look at him, her eyes sadder than he’d ever seen them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m not in love with you anymore.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was silent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All the moisture in his mouth had been sucked completely dry. He was lost for words. He wasn’t entirely certain what heartbreak felt like, but he had a feeling this was it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I loved you for most of my life,” she continued. “I loved you because I thought you hated it here as much as I did. But you don’t hate it here. You love it here. You love being Fire Lord and you’re good at it. And you’re important. And I’m just… <strong>here</strong>.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He still couldn’t speak. He just sat there, looking pathetic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Mai gave him that sad look again – the one he’d never seen before. He’d seen her angry, indifferent, and sullen, but never sad. She sat next to him on the bed. She brought a hand to his face, tilting his chin so she could kiss him, soft and patient.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I can’t be here anymore, Zuko,” she said softly. “I’m sick of palaces and parties and politics. I used to be able to deal with it because I had someone to hate it with. I had someone to be miserable with. But you’re not miserable anymore; you’re happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen you. And I’m… not. I need to be happy too, okay?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She stood up, her hand falling from his face. She grabbed that small bag and threw it over her shoulder. She didn’t even give the room a final glance before heading towards the door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a moment he considered stopping her. A sick, buried part of him that told him he had every right to do just that. She couldn’t leave him. She wouldn’t dare.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He silenced that part of him before he could say something stupid. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Where are you going?” He asked, finally able to speak. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She hesitated, but just barely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Somewhere less… red. The color’s been making me nauseous lately.”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter took forever because I could not, for the life of me, figure out how I wanted to frame it. I'm still not sure if I'm satisfied. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.(:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. chapter six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Katara discovers the root of her insomnia.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She hadn’t been sleeping, was the thing.  </p><p>She kept telling herself that maybe if she could just get some sleep, she would stop acting so weird around him. It was the bed they had given her. The mattress was practically a marshmallow and her body just sunk right into it. It was like crawling inside a big pot of warm jelly – squishy and uncomfortable. And the heat didn’t help either. Sure, it was summer, and they were in the Fire Nation, but did it have to be so damn hot all the time? Katara was fairly certain that the entirety of this nation’s culture sustained itself on nothing more than sweltering heat and terrible back support. That’s what she would tell everyone when she returned to the South Pole. <em>You wouldn’t believe it, Gran-Gran</em>, she would say, <em>Lord Zuko has really made some great improvements. He replaced every mattress in the palace with literal quicksand and outlawed temperatures below eighty degrees!</em></p><p>Yeah, that’s what she’d tell them. That’s what she’d tell Aang, too, after his return from the Northern Air Temple. He’d find it hilarious, and they’d laugh about it together. And once their laughter died down, he’d give her a kiss and ask how the negotiations went. She’d tell him they were rough at first but they turned out just fine. She’d tell him she thinks, in due time, the Fire Nation and Water Tribes can form a great alliance. Aang would smile at that. Aang would smile a real big smile because he’s the Avatar, and friendship and unity is what the Avatar’s all about. And with the smile still on his face, he would ask about Zuko. He would ask how he’s doing, and if he and Mai were still together. He would ask if he asked about him. He would ask if she told him he misses him like he’d asked her to before she left.</p><p>And Katara would lie.</p><p>She wouldn’t tell him that she never asked about Mai. Because then she’d have to tell him how her heart did that dumb, happy thing it did when she found out from Sokka, who found out from Suki, the two had broken up.</p><p>She wouldn’t tell him Zuko was doing great. Because then she’d have to tell him how even though he’s still an irritable, socially awkward hothead, he looks happier than he’s ever been and somehow even more attractive.</p><p>And she certainly wouldn’t tell him that Zuko didn’t ask about the Avatar. Because then she’d have to tell him why. She’d have to tell him how, two years ago; she snuck into the Fire Lord’s bedroom and slid underneath his sheets. She’d have to tell him how she silenced his confusion by caressing his chest and absorbing the warmth of his skin. She’d have to tell him how she kissed him, deep and passionate as though she had every right. And she’d have to tell him it was her, it was all her, all her passion and need that he so willfully devoured. <em>Zuko didn’t ask about you, Aang</em>, she wouldn’t say, <em>because the last time he saw you, you were kissing me. You were kissing me the very next day.</em></p><p>But, really, it was the mattress. If the mattress were stiffer, she’d be able to sleep.</p><p>She walked down long, seemingly endless hallways. They were dark and shadowy, lit only by the lanterns that hung from the ceiling. It was different from the palace they had built back in the South Pole. Palace, of course, being a generous word – it was more of a luxury igloo. A very large igloo with fine pelts and intricate carvings but it still managed to present itself as humbly as the rest of the village. The Fire Lord’s palace, on the other hand, was a far cry from humble.</p><p>It was beautiful, though, she had to admit. Perhaps it wasn’t her preferred color scheme, but there was something to be said for the way plush red carpets contrasted against solid gold trim. The iron walls, though menacing, exuded power and regality. And even though the palace wasn’t hers to claim, she felt that power as she strolled restlessly through the corridors. She felt the regality as Fire Nation guards bowed respectfully when she passed, refusing to make eye contact due to regional custom. And even though he walked five paces behind her, she knew Koa was side-eyeing each and every one of them, reminding them of her importance. She was protected not only through order of Fire Lord Zuko, but as the princess of the Southern Water Tribe.</p><p>She reveled in it. She hated how much she reveled in it.</p><p>When she rounded the corner, she ran into someone. Layers upon layers of fabric spilled gracelessly from the woman’s arms, falling to the floor despite her struggle to save them. Katara recovered quickly from the shock of the impact and knelt down to help her, collecting the fabric with one hand and raising the other to halt Koa’s urgent advance.</p><p>“Damn it, I’m so sorry. I’m so, <em>so</em> sorry,” said the woman. She was a mess of dark hair and panicked expression. She gathered the fabric haphazardly, never looking up from the floor. Even in the dim light, Katara could see the dark trenches beneath her eyes. Perhaps her mattress was also a marshmallow.</p><p>“Don’t apologize,” said Katara. “I should have watched where I was going.”</p><p>The woman looked at her then, her face reading of exhaustion and sincerity. It then read of recognition and subsequent horror. The fabric she’d gathered fell back to the floor as she bowed down in shame, forehead to the ground.</p><p>“Princess,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize – <em>I’m so sorry</em>.”</p><p>Katara felt her heart fall to the pit of her stomach, knowing the woman reacted out of fear. This nation may have been on the mend due to Zuko’s altruistic guidance, but the trauma remained. Royalty frightened them. It was apparent in moments like these.</p><p>Katara placed a gentle hand on the woman’s shoulder, encouraging her to rise.</p><p> “You don’t have to do that,” she said. “Please, it was my fault. Let me help you.”</p><p>The woman looked up with a hesitant smile. She brushed the hair from her face. She moved slowly and with carful intent, not entirely convinced. She seemed to calm down after some time. The two of them began collecting the fallen fabric once more.</p><p>“Thank you,” she said after a while. “You’re very kind. I’ve been such a mess, lately. It’s weird being back in the palace. I’ve had so much time off; it’s like I don’t even know how to be here anymore. And my new room is so… <em>large</em>. It can get kind of creepy, you know? It makes it hard to sleep sometimes.”</p><p>Katara smiled. “Trust me, I get it.”</p><p>They stood at the same time, the fabric now carefully folded and secured in the woman’s arms. Katara could really see her face now; now that they stood in the light. She was older than her, perhaps in her mid-thirties. And she was beautiful – naturally so. She looked as though she hadn’t slept for days and could certainly take a comb to her hair, but she could also pose for a portrait if she wanted to. She was ethereally plain.</p><p>“I’m Yuname,” she said, “the palace seamstress. I make clothes for all the higher ups, even for Fire Lord Zuko. If you ever need anything, anything at all, my room’s just down this hall up ahead. And if I’m not there, you can find me in my studio. It’s downstairs, right across from the courtyard. You can ask anyone and they’ll take you there. Blue’s a hard color to come by in these parts, but I’m sure I can make it happen. It would truly be an honor.”</p><p>She bowed, this time in appropriate fashion. Katara bowed back.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind,” said Katara. They smiled at each other before continuing on their paths. Katara took only a few steps before Yuname called out to her.</p><p>“If you’re looking for Lord Zuko, he’s not in his room.”</p><p>Katara stopped in her tracks. Her face grew hot. She whipped around in surprise, looking at the woman as though she’d said the most outrageous thing imaginable.</p><p>“What? Why would I be looking for him? I don’t – it’s…. It’ so <em>late</em>.”</p><p>
  <em>Wow. Smooth, Katara. Great job on that one. </em>
</p><p>“I’m sorry,” said Yuname. Her face was sincere, but there were traces of amusement. “I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I just came from there, is all, to drop off his clothes for tomorrow. I figured I’d save you the trip.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>“Oh,” said Katara. “No, I… I was headed to talk to my brother,” she lied. “General Sokka, he’s Suki’s husband. Her room is right next to Zu-<em>Lord</em> Zuko’s, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes, of course.”</p><p>Katara smiled awkwardly, turning again to head down the hallway.</p><p>“If you do run into him,” said Yuname, before she could even take one step. “Tell him Jaizen is doing much better.”</p><p>Katara looked to her in question.</p><p>“My son,” she clarified. “He became very ill a few months ago. It’s why I took all that time off. Lord Zuko even paid me for it. And I don’t think Jaizen would have made it if it weren’t for all those doctor visits and the medicine he sent us.”</p><p>Katara closed her eyes. Her chest was doing that dumb, swoopy thing again. <em>Screw Zuko and his kind, compassionate nature.</em></p><p>Katara bowed, smiling softly.</p><p>“Of course,” she said. “If I see him, I’ll let him know.”</p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t been going to see him.</p><p>Truly, she hadn’t. The palace was practically a labyrinth in the dark and all the hallways looked exactly the same. The fact that she ended up in <em>that</em> particular hallway headed in <em>that</em> particular direction was nothing more than coincidence, no matter what Yuname clearly thought.</p><p>But now she <em>had </em>to go see him… right? She had a message to deliver. And as she navigated herself perfectly through the palace down towards Coronation Plaza, she tried not to dwell on the fact she knew exactly where to find him. And why would she? It wasn’t privy information. Anyone who spent more than twelve minutes with the man knew he had enough pent up aggression to fill all of Ba Sing Se. And when Zuko couldn’t sleep, letting out said aggression was his only solution. She knew that from experience. He’d be training somewhere, she knew. Firebending. Coronation Plaza was the safest place to do just that.</p><p>When she exited the palace, she saw the flames first. She felt the heat of them too. She saw Ty Lee standing at a distance, watching the fire as though it were a light show, her eyes filled with glee. It was something entirely different from this afternoon. Zuko was no longer holding back; no longer fighting without his element. Watching Zuko fight without fire was like watching him fight with a hand tied behind his back: impressive, but limiting. Now he was whole. Now the full, intimidating force of what he was could be seen in every strike. And he’d gotten better, <em>much</em> better, since the last time she’d seen him firebend right here in this very plaza.</p><p>When they’d fought before back during his dark days, back during the siege on the North Pole, Katara held her own. She bested him, even, but only due to his exhaustion and the sub-degree weather. They fought again in Ba Sing Se, down in the crystal catacombs after heart wrenching betrayal. He decimated her that time, but only due to Azula and the Dai Li’s assistance. Months later she threatened his life, and she’d meant it. Time had passed and she had grown stronger. Deadlier. She’d learned of techniques he wouldn’t dare dream of. She was confident that, if it came down to it, she could end his life instantaneously. She wasn’t so confident anymore.</p><p>The lick of his flames grew hotter. There was a blue hue right at the start of them – right where they ignited, close to his palm. It reminded her of Azula. But his sister could never match Zuko’s aggression. Aang had described it best, years ago, when Sokka asked who was more of a threat. <em>You can’t compare them</em>, Aang said, <em>Azula’s firebending is precision. It’s manipulative calculation. Zuko’s is pure rage and absolute devastation.</em></p><p>Absolute devastation indeed.</p><p>The flames died down when he saw her. They flickered in unity with his breath. He pushed the hair back from his face, his braids now having thoroughly come undone. Ty Lee tossed him a towel so he could wipe the sweat from his forehead. Katara smiled softly as he walked towards her.</p><p>“Hey,” he said. And he said it as though he hadn’t just nearly burned down the palace.</p><p>“Hey yourself.”</p><p>“I thought you’d be asleep by now.”</p><p>“I could say the same thing about you.”</p><p>He took a seat on the stairs leading up to the palace and leaned back against them, exhausted. Katara sat down next to him, truly wishing he’d put a shirt on. They sat in silence for a while. That seemed to be their thing now – sitting in silence. Katara thinks maybe it’s because they’re too scared to really say anything. She’d been here for three days now and they only ever talked about nothing, despite there being plenty of somethings to talk about. A lot happened within the past two years. The Southern Water Tribe was being rebuilt and repopulated with the help of the North. Katara had been crowned as a true princess with political power as opposed to being recognized as merely the Chief’s daughter. She started a water bending school for girls, encouraging many women of the Northern Tribe to now call the South their home. And Katara had gotten married. Of course, Zuko knew all these things. He’d read about them in detail in Aang’s many letters. And Zuko had always replied.</p><p><em>Give Katara my best</em>, they always said.</p><p>“I went to see my sister earlier,” said Zuko, breaking the silence at last.</p><p>Katara looked at him, surprised.</p><p>“Oh. How… is she?”</p><p>“She’s refusing to eat.”</p><p>“Like, at all?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he said. “It’s been four days. She’s been locked in a sub-degree cooler for two years, chained up like an animal. She’s tired of being fed with a stick.”</p><p>“I don’t blame her.”</p><p>“Neither do I, but the guards refuse to go near her. And I don’t blame them for that either.”</p><p>Katara looked down, closing her eyes. Her chest sunk low in her belly. Even <em>she</em> had pitied Azula the day they defeated her. She couldn’t imagine what it must’ve felt like being her brother.</p><p>“I told them I’d do it myself,” Zuko continued. “I even made her favorite – komodo chicken and rice. I sat down right in front of her, <em>begged</em> her to at least take one bite.”</p><p>“Did she?”</p><p>Zuko looked at her then, his expression empty.</p><p>“No,” he said. “She spit in my face.”</p><p>She reached out for him on instinct, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said.</p><p>Zuko surprised her when he brushed her hand away. It surprised her because he didn’t stand up to leave. Instead he laid down, placing his head in her lap. She didn’t hesitate to bring a hand to his hair, stroking it tenderly. Lovingly.</p><p>“I ran into Yuname in the hallway,” she said. “She wanted me to tell you that Jaizen has gotten better.”</p><p>Zuko took a deep breath. Katara’s fingers danced at the edge of his scar.</p><p>“I’m glad to hear it,” said Zuko. “He’s a good kid.”</p><p>Silence fell over them. Katara decided that, maybe, the silence wasn’t so bad.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for changing POVs, lmao.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. chapter seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Suki learns the importance of pacing herself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Two years earlier…</em>
</p><p>“The prettiest girl at the party is often the one not enjoying herself.”</p><p>Suki looked up from her glass of wine. Iroh’s kind face was a mix of compassion and concern. She offered him a gentle smile as she tucked away a loose strand of hair. She stepped aside, making room for him in her chosen corner of isolation.</p><p>Sokka’s laughter could be heard from just about anywhere in the ballroom. But given he was no more than a few feet away, it was boisterous. Some would even call it obnoxious. Suki found it charming. He was laughing amongst found friends – people he hadn’t met more than minutes ago. His charisma had them enthralled instantaneously. She loved him for that. She truly did.</p><p>“I just don’t really know how to act at parties,” Suki admitted. “It’s been a while since I’ve celebrated… well, anything.”</p><p>A sad and unfortunate truth, she realized.</p><p>Iroh’s face softened further. He placed a hand on her shoulder. They both looked out across the ballroom. Everyone else seemed to be celebrating just fine. Aang and Katara danced away in the room’s center, drawing a small crowd. Toph and her former Earth Rumble VI competitors appeared to be in the midst of an arm wrestling tournament. Toph’s parents watched in horror as she won every match. Sokka continued making strangers laugh and Zuko –<em> poor Zuko </em>– was already drowning in politics. The poor guy was trying to enjoy his own coronation party and not a single Fire Nation noble in attendance would leave him alone. He looked miserable. It was hilarious.</p><p>“Your nephew looks like he could use rescue.”</p><p>Iroh chuckled. It was a hearty chuckle filled with love. Suki wondered how he could laugh like that after all they had been through. His hand slid from her shoulder and down to his belly, his laughter still warm and infectious. Suki laughed along with him, gentle and slow – it was the first time she’d laughed since the start of the party.</p><p>“Yes,” said Iroh. “I’m afraid Fire Lord Zuko will have to get used to all the attention. He was very shy as a child. He only ever wanted to read his poems and play in the courtyard with his mother.”</p><p>Suki continued to watch Zuko, her smile still intact. She tried to imagine that. She tried to imagine such an insufferable jackass as a momma’s boy who enjoyed a good nursery rhyme. Turns out it wasn’t that hard to imagine.</p><p>“I don’t know him very well,” Suki admitted. “The first time we met, he burned down my village. He humiliated me, as both a warrior and a woman.”</p><p>“I am certain he is deeply sorry.”</p><p> “Yeah, he said that,” said Suki. She took a sip from her glass of wine. “And considering he broke me out of prison, I’m inclined to forgive him.”</p><p>“But you haven’t yet.”</p><p>That startled her. She looked towards Iroh, her shock more than apparent. It wasn’t that she hadn’t expected him to pick up on that, she just didn’t expect him to call her out on it. She realized then that she didn’t know Iroh very well either. The man was not the peaceful reconciler everyone made him out to be. He was an instigator. Perhaps manipulation and trickery ran deeper in this family than anyone was willing to admit.</p><p>“Maybe I just need to see a bit more action before I can accept his apology.”</p><p>Iroh nodded, his expression thoughtful.</p><p>“Or, perhaps, he has yet to apologize for the right things,” he said.</p><p>Suki sighed, exasperated. She understood it now – Zuko’s constant irritability. She couldn’t fathom having conversations like this, on and off for three years of her life. It was like talking to a fortune cookie. She took another sip from her glass of wine, swallowing more than was necessary.</p><p>“It’s not that deep. He destroyed my entire village. I think it’s reasonable to still be angry about it.”</p><p>“Of course,” said Iroh. “But I don’t think you are angry with him for destroying your village. I think you are angry with him for destroying your purpose.”</p><p>Suki was silent. Iroh had managed to hit the nail on the head much harder than she ever anticipated. Silence was undoubtedly the better option. Iroh apparently didn’t care much for silence.</p><p>“The rest of your friends were forced to become soldiers in a war they never wanted to fight. Through their strife, they found their purpose. Even my nephew would have elected to live a life of peace and simplicity were it not for the violent will of his forefathers,” Iroh continued. “But you, Suki, you were born on the island of Kyoshi. Being a warrior is in your blood. It is who you are. Your purpose growing up was to protect your village from those who wished to incite conflict. Zuko took that away from you. And when you changed direction and decided to fight the one hundred year war, decided to fight the Fire Nation, he took that away from you too. You no longer have a village to protect and, even if you did, there is no enemy to protect it from. I can understand why you are angry with him. And I can understand why you maybe feel guilty for your anger.”</p><p>Suki drank the rest of her wine. She set the empty glass down on a nearby servant’s tray. The tears in her eyes had formed silently. She only realized their presence when one began a treacherous descent down the side of her face. She wiped it away, folding her arms in front of her.</p><p>“I can’t exactly ask him to apologize for ending a war.”</p><p>Iroh’s eyes were a bottomless pit of empathy. His hand returned to her shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze.</p><p>“No,” he said. “But perhaps you could ask him to help you find a <em>new </em>purpose. He’s rather good at that, it turns out.”</p><p>Sokka’s laughter filled the room again, calling for Suki’s attention. Hakoda emerged from a neighboring crowd and Sokka greeted him with a steadying side-hug. Suki smiled a little. She thought about how happy he’d been when the war finally ended. She thought about how desperate she’d been to emulate that happiness. <em>It’s over, Suki. It’s finally over</em>, he’d said. <em>We get to go home. You get to meet Gran-Gran. We get to eat real food again!</em></p><p>And all his talk had been of <em>we, we, we</em>, as though a future without her had not been one he considered. And perhaps it was inconsiderate, and assuming, but Suki found it romantic. Because Sokka was a planner and he always thought things through. He always considered every variable, every excruciating detail. Suki was certain he’d analyzed every possible version of life after the war. She was certain he decided the ones without her were unacceptable. And of course, being without Sokka was not a future she wanted either. But living in the South Pole, bundled up in an igloo cooking sea prunes with Gran-Gran – that wasn’t the new purpose she was searching for.</p><p>She looked back towards Zuko. There was a young woman standing next to him, gripping his forearm, making him uncomfortable. Her head was thrown back in jovial laughter. Which was surprising, given Zuko was notoriously known for not being funny. Like, at all.</p><p>“Yeah,” said Suki, at long last acknowledging the wisdom Iroh had gifted her. “Maybe I’ll give it a shot.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko nearly fell over when Appa licked him. Aang’s laughter was piercing.</p><p>Suki was finally willing to admit that maybe she’d overdone it last night. Wine was for sharing, she learned. Three bottles of it was <em>definitely</em> for sharing. Don’t drink three bottles of wine alone is really the moral of this story.</p><p>“I’m gonna miss you too, buddy,” Zuko muttered. He hugged the bison’s big fuzzy head and the creature nuzzled him in return. Appa always did like Zuko best. Right after Aang, of course.</p><p>Sokka and Katara were off in the distance, packing the rest of their things. The official goodbyes had already been said. It was easier now, saying goodbye. It was far less dramatic without a war hanging over their heads. The likelihood of them seeing each other again was much higher.</p><p>Aang continued to airbend supplies onto Appa’s back, laughing as Appa smothered the Fire Lord with affection.</p><p>And Suki just sat there, hungover, craving fried beef-pork and greasy mushrooms.</p><p>She watched as Zuko backed away from Appa’s ministrations. He began dusting the robes she’d never get used to him wearing. He looked a little dumb, if she were being honest. She’d only ever known him in two capacities and this new outfit subscribed to neither of them. It reminded her of the weird boy in school getting a makeover from the popular kids. There was nothing natural about it.</p><p>Zuko looked over and caught her staring. She panicked a little when he began walking towards her. She gave him an awkward smile. She slid over to make room for him under her chosen tree of isolation. Her movement lacked fluidity due to her hangover. And Zuko sat down next her, gracefully, like it was the most natural thing in the world. As though they maybe had more than three conversations throughout the time they had known each other.</p><p>“Hey,” he said.</p><p>“Hey,” she said back.</p><p>There were a few moments of silence. Moments that were graciously filled by the sound of Sokka and Katara’s bickering.</p><p>“I heard you’re not going,” said Zuko, breaking the silence.</p><p>“Not yet,” she said. “In a week, maybe. For right now I need to figure out what to do with the Kyoshi Warriors. I can’t just leave them behind without direction.”</p><p>Zuko nodded. The way he nodded was weird. He nodded like he actually understood what she was saying.</p><p>“I hope that’s okay,” Suki continued, “the six of us staying at the palace for another week.”</p><p>Zuko shrugged.</p><p>“You can stay as long as you want.”</p><p>Momo plopped down in front of them out of seemingly nowhere. She hadn’t noticed him in the tree. She hadn’t noticed much of anything due to her brain being a big bowl of mush. The lemur scurried up to Zuko’s waiting hand, rubbing his face all over it. Zuko really had a way with animals. Suki wondered if he’d always been that way.</p><p>“Sokka proposed to me last night,” she blurted out.</p><p>“Oh,” said Zuko. Baffled. “Did you-“</p><p>“Yes. Yes, of course. I said yes.”</p><p>“Congratulations.”</p><p>“I was drunk.”</p><p>“Oh,” he said again. This time with less bafflement and more concern. “Did you not want-“</p><p>“No, of course not. I want to marry him.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I just don’t want to live with him.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“The South Pole sounds terrible.”</p><p>“It does.”</p><p>“Why are you agreeing with me?”</p><p>“Because I hate the cold.”</p><p>Again, there was silence. Suki’s laughter broke the silence. She couldn’t help it – the man was ridiculous. How could someone be so simultaneously awkward and so easy to talk to?</p><p>Zuko smirked. Suki realized then that he had meant for her to laugh. She realized that Zuko might actually be funny. It was an earth-shattering revelation.  </p><p>“I don’t trust my own security,” he said after a while.</p><p>“Palace security?”</p><p>“My royal guard to be specific,” he clarified. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to entrust my life to the same men who protected my father.”</p><p>“I can see that being an issue,” said Suki.</p><p>Zuko looked at her then – he really looked at her. There was something about that look that made Suki feel important. It made her feel needed.</p><p>“If, by the end of the week, the Kyoshi Warriors still need direction,” he said, “I think there could be a place for them here. I think there could be a place for <em>you</em> here, if you wanted. Caldera is a lot warmer than the South Pole.”</p><p>Suki smiled. “I’ll think about it,” she said.</p><p>They sat in more silence. Katara yelled at Sokka in the distance. Something about him having too many bags. Zuko started doing that thing with his thumbs he tended to do.</p><p>“Katara fucked me last night,” he said suddenly, out of absolutely nowhere. Suki actually thinks she might’ve pulled a muscle with how fast she turned to look at him.</p><p>“Oh,” she said.</p><p>“Yeah,” he replied.</p><p>“That’s-“</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Aren’t you and Mai…?”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“And she and Aang?”</p><p>“Apparently.”</p><p>“Yikes.”</p><p>“Uh huh.”</p><p>Suki continued to watch him, unsure of what to say. She realized she couldn’t judge him for it. After all, she just admitted to not wanting to live with the man she agreed to marry. And perhaps that was why he told her. Perhaps he realized the vulnerable position she was in, and decided to put himself on that same level. She was grateful for it, at the end of the day.</p><p>“So <em>she</em> fucked <em>you</em>, huh?” Suki asked.</p><p>Zuko cringed. “I meant that she initiated it.”</p><p>“It’s just a weird way to phrase it, is all.”  </p><p>“Please stop.”</p><p>“Is that something you’re open to, or-“</p><p>“You’re banished. I’m banishing you. Leave this city and never come back.”</p><p>Suki laughed. She laughed harder than she thought was possible. She laughed like they’d been friends for years, and like this wasn’t only their fourth conversation.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I guess changing POVs is just what we're doing now... I realize I can't exactly tell this story without it...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. chapter eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko tries to separate the emotion from politics.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry this update took forever. I apparently thought it was a good idea to quit smoking a couple weeks ago. Turns out it's difficult to write when you're suffering from nicotine withdrawal.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Truthfully, at first, he’d been too scared to do anything but lie there. He was scared because part of him was still convinced that sex wasn’t a thing that was happening here. Because, sure, she’d slipped into his room in the middle of the night wearing absolutely nothing other than a too-small silk robe whose sash was barely tied around her waist. And, yes, she <strong>did </strong>pull back the covers and caress his chest in a way that was far from platonic, and she wasn’t the least bit deterred upon discovering he had a preference for sleeping in the nude. And – <strong>fine</strong> – he’d imagined this,<strong> hoped</strong> for this one hundred times before. His dumb, horny teenaged brain had most certainly concocted dozens of scenarios in which Katara was in this particular state of undress, attempting to put her body on his with this exact level of need and enthusiasm. But in those fantasies she had never been so…<strong> awkward</strong> about it, and perhaps that’s where his initial hesitation came from. The awkwardness.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She had a level of false confidence that was telling. Her movements weren’t tentative by any means but they were notably inexperienced. And if Zuko wasn’t something of an expert himself, he wouldn’t have noticed. But there was something to be said for the way she so willingly disrobed without any preamble. She just threw the silk to the floor as though it were an obstacle and not part of the allure. And the way she encouraged <strong>his </strong>hands to <strong>her </strong>body, as though she wanted to take charge but just didn’t know how – that made the message loud and clear. She was hiding her own insecurity beneath unmatched levels of audacity, the way she always had. And she was doing it in the exact way that caused Zuko to begin fantasizing about her in the first place.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He pulled himself from his paralytic state and placed his hands at her hips. He allowed her to straddle his waist and tried to control himself at the feeling of her bare cunt rubbing against his growing erection. He lifted a hand to cup one of her breasts, brushing a thumb over the nipple. Her breath caught, and he brought that hand to her face. He stroked her cheek with gentle fingers, searching her eyes with his own.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You’ve never done this before, have you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She blushed. She pressed her face into his hand and looked away. She closed her eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I have,” she insisted. “Just, never like this.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Never like what?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She opened her eyes, then. She looked at him in a way he’d never seen before. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Never with someone I wanted.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure you want them taken in, Lord Zuko? It’s not very traditional.”</p>
<p>Yuname placed another pin in the Fire Lord’s sleeve. Zuko stood with his arms raised, gaze directed out the window. The sun was still rising along with the heat inside his body. His mind continued to revisit the events of last night. He hadn’t gotten much sleep and concentrating on anything would be difficult for him.</p>
<p>“I don’t really care much for keeping tradition these days,” said Zuko. “I’d rather be able to write a sentence without smudging the ink.”</p>
<p>Yuname smiled softly and tapered the sleeve further, “as you wish, my lord.”</p>
<p>Zuko hadn’t expected Katara to find him the way she did last night. And part of him wished that she hadn’t. After his visit with Azula, he’d been distraught. More than distraught – he’d been ruined. His pyrokinetic display down in coronation plaza hadn’t exactly been a training session. It was a temper tantrum. He preferred for people to believe he didn’t have those anymore. Or, at least, that they were few and far between, when they most certainly were not.</p>
<p>It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her. Zuko had been busy, of course, but never too busy to pay Azula a weekly visit throughout the two years of her imprisonment. Yesterday had been different, though. She didn’t struggle against the chains with maniacal laughter like she usually did. She just sat there, defeated and broken, as though she’d given up on all possibility of freedom. That had been the worst possible thing for him to see. Because for all that could be said about Zuko’s family, no one ever accused them of giving up without a fight.</p>
<p>Zuko didn’t want his sister to stop fighting. He just wanted her to fight for something different. He wanted her to fight for her own sanity. Better yet, her peace. He wanted to see her recover in the way everyone told him was impossible, because he knew Azula never gave a damn about the impossible. But Azula could rot and starve for all Suki cared. That seemed to be the general consensus throughout the rest of the palace as well.</p>
<p>Zuko understood the sentiment as much as he rejected it.</p>
<p>“She’s very beautiful, you know,” said Yuname, pulling Zuko from his thoughts. “The Water Tribe Princess. I ran into her last night, out in the hallway. You never told me how beautiful she was.”</p>
<p>Suki glanced up from the scrolls she was reading in the corner of the room. She smirked at Zuko before turning back to them, pretending not to listen.</p>
<p>“I guess I didn’t think it was important to mention,” said Zuko. He glanced down to where Yuname knelt beneath him, pinning his sleeves with a soft, knowing smile on her face. “But, yes, Princess Katara is very beautiful.”</p>
<p>“And she’s married?” Yuname asked.</p>
<p>Suki snorted. Zuko shot her a look that she promptly ignored.</p>
<p><em>For fuck’s sake</em>.</p>
<p>“Yes, to the Avatar,” he said, with a tone meant to bring an end to this absurd conversation. </p>
<p>Yuname placed a final pin in his sleeve. She gave him a once over. Satisfied with her work, she stood, carefully sliding the garment from his shoulders so that she could bring it down to her studio and make the alterations.</p>
<p>“Such a shame,” she said, folding the robe over a steady arm. “Your children would be stunning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“After much debate, we insist that you do not allow Water Tribe colonies to be established here in the Fire Nation. The outrage will be catastrophic, and we’re concerned that Chief Arnook may be attempting to exploit not only your youth but your apparent guilt.”</p>
<p>Zuko raised an eyebrow. He sat back in his seat at the head of the table, his chin resting in one hand while the other tapped impatiently against the armrest.</p>
<p>“You say that as though this Nation has nothing to be guilty about.”</p>
<p>Councilman Jukai inhaled sharply. His jaw tightened and Zuko could see the discomfort. He could see the words he wanted to say stuck deep down in his throat.</p>
<p>The man was bitter and ancient. His long-standing membership of both Ozai and Azulon’s cabinets made his loyalties questionable at best. Regardless, his political expertise and unwavering dedication to the Fire Nation made him respected amongst the populace. His disposal would cast Zuko in an unfavorable light.</p>
<p> “My lord, that is not what I meant to imply.”</p>
<p> “Of course not. You only meant to imply that I’m ignorant and naive.”</p>
<p>“Lord Zuko-“</p>
<p>“<em>Shut up</em>,” Zuko hissed. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “I’m tired of listening to you. Someone less infuriating do the talking, please.”</p>
<p>There was a series of coughs and throat clearings meant to poorly disguise the laughter of certain individuals. Zuko ignored them, but secretly took pleasure in knowing his sentiments weren’t entirely disputed.</p>
<p>“I think what Councilman Jukai means to say is that we <em>all </em>would be foolish to think Chief Arnook’s proposal isn’t riddled with ulterior motive,” General Yuzao spoke up. “The Fire Nation has used colonization to maintain power over foreign lands for nearly a century. To ask that our land be willfully forfeited under the guise of reparation is… <em>lazy</em>, if I may be so bold.”</p>
<p>Zuko lowered his hand from the bridge of his nose and back down to his chin. He gave General Yuzao his full attention, squaring his shoulders only slightly.</p>
<p>“I’d rather you be bold than bite your tongue like a coward,” said Zuko. “Continue.”</p>
<p>Yuzao nodded, glancing briefly at the deflated Councilman Jukai before continuing to speak.</p>
<p>“The Northern Water Tribe remained untouched for a century. Even in the absence of an Avatar, when we were at our strongest, our navy couldn’t lay a finger on their stronghold,” said Yuzao. “Imagine what they could do to us now, with our military defunded and our occupation withdrawn across the globe…”</p>
<p>“Are you suggesting that Chief Arnook intends to launch an attack? Now? During an era of peace?”</p>
<p>“I’m suggesting that the North rightfully holds hatred towards the Fire Nation,” Yuzao pressed. “I’m suggesting that his willingness to restore their connection to the South is purposeful, and that his support of Princess Katara during the assembly was performative.”  </p>
<p>Zuko sat up fully, then. “Performative? You think he doesn’t actually agree with her?”</p>
<p>Yuzao shrugged. “I think she’s married to the Avatar and he’s going to agree with whatever she has to say.”</p>
<p>Silence fell over the room. A few members of the council shifted uncomfortably in their seats. They knew this discussion was broaching on dangerous territory. The energy in the room shifted. Zuko had to remind himself that it was due to his known friendship with Aang and not… anything else.</p>
<p>“You think he wants the Avatar’s favor,” said Zuko.</p>
<p>“I think everyone wants the Avatar’s favor,” said Yuzao. “And I think the Avatar is all that stands in the way of our destruction if we allow the Water Tribes to establish colonies here in our nation.”</p>
<p>Once again, there was silence. Zuko sat back in his chair. The General’s statement was indeed bold, but not inaccurate.</p>
<p>“Avatar Aang is my best friend,” said Zuko, breaking the silence. Whether he said it to remind himself or the general, he wasn’t sure.</p>
<p>“Of course,” said Yuzao, “but you aren’t making love to him every night. And let’s not forget we are solely responsible for the genocide of his people.”</p>
<p>Zuko swallowed. His throat had gone dry all of the sudden. He wished his sister was here. He wished he could lean on her during the times he was forced to take emotion out of politics. She was better at that. She was built for that.</p>
<p>“What is it that you suggest?” asked Zuko.</p>
<p>Yuzao stared at him for a moment before answering.</p>
<p>“I suggest that we don’t allow people who possess the unparalleled power to control water, to establish colonies throughout our series of small islands surrounded by <em>water</em>,” said Yuzao. “Instead, I propose that we <em>gift</em> them Agni Kai.”</p>
<p>Zuko narrowed his gaze. Anger flared from within him. “<em>Excuse me?</em>”</p>
<p>“It’s an island,” Yuzao clarified. “Two islands. A generous amount of land separated only by a straight. It’s not too far off from the mainland.”</p>
<p>“Why don’t I know about this?”</p>
<p>“Because they’re uninhabited. Your father had plans to transform it into a military stronghold after securing his power as Phoenix King.” General Yuzao leaned forward to unroll a map of the Fire Nation. The entirety of the cabinet watched carefully as he directed attention to the land in question. “Gifting them this island would give them the central location they’re looking for. It gives them access to our ports for increased trading and it even encourages tourism. Better yet, it doesn’t allow our citizens to believe land is being stolen from them because they didn’t even know it was theirs to begin with. Our Fire Lord didn’t even know.”</p>
<p>There were murmurs of agreement throughout the council. Even Councilman Jukai looked pleased. Zuko remained skeptical.</p>
<p>“And with the number of underwater volcanos near the mainland being high, the waters are warm and difficult to bend,” said Zuko. “And the closest Fire Nation city they’d have access to is Caldera, which currently holds our highest number of troops. That’s what’s most important to you, isn’t it, General?”</p>
<p>Yuzao’s composure remained unflappable.</p>
<p>“As the loyal commanding officer of <em>your</em> forces, Lord Zuko, it absolutely is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The courtyard was peaceful at sunset. Something about it allowed Zuko to breathe. He could feel the tension leaving his body as the sun made its departure, taking its power along with it. He exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. The turtle ducks quacked in the background. They splashed around in still water, oblivious to worldly troubles.</p>
<p>Zuko sensed Katara’s presence even before she was near. He did not care to examine exactly why that was. He stayed silent and allowed her to speak first.  </p>
<p>“Hey,” she said. There was something in her voice. Zuko opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was dressed in red. His heart stopped.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he replied.</p>
<p>She smiled softly and extended a hand, “I want to show you something.”</p>
<p>Zuko accepted the invitation. She helped him from the ground and kept hold of his hand as she led him through the courtyard. They veered off path into the tall grass, a place no one really wandered. The vegetation was thick and there was no place to sit. Even Yira didn’t bother to follow them, instead choosing to keep watch from a distance. Tall flowers and thorny bushes surrounded them on all sides. They stopped in front of a small tree. A rather pathetic-looking dragonfly sparrow laid flat on the lowest branch. It was breathing, but just barely. Zuko thought back to a few days ago when he set fire to the courtyard in one of his tantrums. His stomach tightened at the thought of there being casualties, however small.</p>
<p>“He’s dehydrated,” said Katara. She let go of Zuko’s hand. “He’s hurt. He hasn’t been able to get any food or water.”</p>
<p>Zuko frowned. “We’ll take him back to the pond.”</p>
<p>Katara shook her head. “There’s no need.”</p>
<p>Zuko looked at her questioningly. He watched as she lifted a hand, waving it through the air. He recognized those wrist movements – had seen them before when they fought. Only this time, they were slower. More focused. She moved with intent. Water droplets began to form on her fingers as they continued to move. Zuko widened his eyes in surprise.</p>
<p>“Did you just pull that from the air?”</p>
<p>Katara nodded, but said nothing. Eventually, she had enough water collected to fill a canteen. Zuko watched in silence as she moved that water towards the half-dead sparrow. He watched as the water disappeared into its feathers, causing half-dead to become quarter-dead. The bird’s breathing became steadier. His eyes became alert. He chirped his thanks to Katara before flying away towards the pond.</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes remained wide. Katara looked at him, waiting for him to speak.</p>
<p>“You’re incredible,” is all he could say.</p>
<p>Katara blushed. There was a look on her face that resembled relief.</p>
<p>“We could make a broth,” said Katara. “One with enough nutrients to keep someone healthy. Once it’s cooled, I can feed it to Azula. I don’t even have to go near her. I wouldn’t have to force it down her throat. I can do it just like that - right through the skin. With concentration, it wouldn’t even hurt… and it’s more dignified than-“</p>
<p>His lips were pressed against her forehead before he even knew what he was doing. If she had any objections, she didn’t make them known. His hands cradled the sides of her face as she leaned into the kiss. She brought her hands to cover his, tugging them away gently before being pulled into a warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his chest.</p>
<p>“You’re incredible,” he repeated, because that was really all he could say.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. chapter nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Does Suki have a drinking problem? No. But when she's drinking, she definitely becomes a problem.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days were something of a whirlwind. So much so that they all seemed to blend into one. Negotiations continued. The Fire Nation presented their proposal to the Water Tribe Council and although their gift was initially met with scrutiny, they accepted. Contracts were drawn, redrawn, thrown out entirely and then drawn again. At this point it was nothing more than petty grievances getting in the way and Katara was ashamed to say that she was the cause of most of them. And while some were genuine concerns for the autonomy of her people (those of which were received sincerely by the Fire Nation and resolved swiftly), most were just a means to prolong the negotiations. She’d fallen into a routine here in the Fire Nation and she wasn’t quite ready to give it up.</p>
<p>Ever since she found a way to help Azula, she and Zuko spent every evening together. They’d meet up for their scheduled visits to the prison and then go on long walks throughout the palace. They talked about anything and everything, except for the one thing they couldn’t talk about. They dived into the nitty gritty of all that happened within the past two years and they reflected on the years before that. Things were fluid and easy, and perhaps a little inappropriate. There was hand holding and hugs and careful brushes of hair from each other’s faces – all things she convinced herself could be perfectly platonic if it weren’t for the looks servants gave them when they walked past in the hallway.</p>
<p>It was the servants’ faults, really. It’s like they’d never seen a pair of good friends before. Good friends who, sure, slept together that one time two years ago, but who remembers that anyways? Who’s thinking about that now when she was married to the Avatar?</p>
<p>She could be friends with the Fire Lord. This was good. This was progress. Nothing could ruin this for her. Nothing at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If she could pinpoint exactly where things started to go wrong, it would probably be during one warm summer’s evening.</p>
<p>She and Zuko had just finished their daily visit to the prison and decided to take a scenic walk through the northern palace gardens. Katara wore nothing other than her traditional bindings and a long, flowing sarong. They walked side by side, arms linked, and Zuko would bend down to lift the ends of her skirt when the path became uneven. This was normal, she thought. He was a gentleman, after all, and she <em>was </em>a princess. She was an honored guest in his palace and he was treating her with perfectly normal, courteous behavior.</p>
<p>Her head was thrown back in laughter. Tears were actually starting to fall from her eyes because she was laughing so hard.</p>
<p>“You didn’t,” she gasped. “You did not actually do that.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s fingers were there in an instant, brushing away her tears as though it was the most natural thing in the world. His soft laughter rang pleasantly in her ears.</p>
<p>“I absolutely did,” he confirmed. “Eight-year-old me put on a one-man rendition of <em>The Fire Sparks at Midnight</em> in front of my father and his entire council. I honestly thought he’d be pleased with me.” </p>
<p>Katara continued to laugh. She had trouble containing it. The imagery alone was enough to make her collapse. Mostly because she could see it – she could perfectly envision a young, pre-scarred Zuko flawlessly executing all parts of the Fire Nation cult-classic.</p>
<p>“Was he?” She asked, “I mean, I know your father is… awful. But wasn’t he at least a little bit proud?”</p>
<p>Zuko’s chuckling came to an end. Katara worried that maybe he started to feel sad, but there was still a soft smile at his lips.</p>
<p>“Ah, no,” he said. “He called me a queer and sent for his guards to physically remove me from the war room.”</p>
<p>Katara clasped a hand over her mouth. Not because she was surprised, but because her instinct was to laugh and she felt that wasn’t the right thing to do. Zuko’s smile grew wider.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, you can laugh,” he assured. “Eight-year-old me was crushed, but looking back at it now, it’s hysterical.”</p>
<p>Katara laughed properly, then. Ty Lee began laughing as well from six feet behind them and Katara wondered briefly if she and Koa were listening. The field of fire lilies that surrounded them was brilliant and fragrant.</p>
<p>“Who would’ve thought,” said Katara. “The infamously banished Prince Zuko; exiled from his kingdom due to his love of the theatre.”</p>
<p>Zuko laughed along with her. “Theatre <em>is </em>the pinnacle of art,” he insisted.</p>
<p>Silence fell over them for a moment. Koa and Ty Lee could be heard murmuring in the background, very much engaged in their own conversation. Katara smiled. She tightened her arm around Zuko’s elbow, squeezing him for attention. He looked down at her curiously.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” she whispered excitedly. “To the theatre. Ember Island is just a ferry ride away. Let’s go see a play tomorrow night.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes lit up at the thought, but that light quickly vanished. He sighed, despondent.</p>
<p>“I can’t,” he said. “I’m on house arrest. Ever since the assassination attempt, Suki won’t allow me off palace grounds. Even with an escort.”</p>
<p>Katara frowned.</p>
<p>“Not even if you were with me? Between the two of us, you’d be more than safe,” she insisted. “Besides, that assassin took you by surprise. We’d be on alert the entire time.”</p>
<p>Zuko looked thoughtful. They took a few more steps before he brought them to a halt. Their arms fell. Katara looked at him eagerly.</p>
<p>“It’s not that I don’t agree with you,” said Zuko. “But Suki made her decision. She’s not likely to change her mind.”</p>
<p>Katara sulked for a moment, her dreams seemingly crushed. She hooked her arm back into Zuko’s with a hopeless sigh and continued their stroll. It wasn’t for a few more steps that the idea hit her – an absolutely ingenious idea that wouldn’t in any way lead to both social and political ruin.</p>
<p>“We should break out.”</p>
<p>Zuko looked at her as though she’d gone insane. “That’s impossible,” he said.</p>
<p>Katara scoffed.</p>
<p>“<em>Impossible?</em>” She echoed, “You singlehandedly freed Aang from a Fire Nation prison protected by the Yuyan Archers. You rescued my father from the middle of a <em>boiling volcano</em>. You mean to tell me that Zuko, the notorious Blue Spirit, scourge of the Fire Nation, can’t escape his own guard?”</p>
<p>Zuko stopped in his tracks. When Katara kept walking, he gripped her forearm and yanked her back towards him with authority. The look in his eye was all challenge and determination. Katara smirked, having successfully appealed to his arrogance.</p>
<p>“I’ll have you know that Suki is the <em>highest</em> level of security you’ll ever come across,” he warned. His voice was low and theatrical, as though they were about to embark on a deadly mission.  “My guard’s forces are nearly impenetrable. The palace is a fortress…”</p>
<p>He trailed off, glancing towards Koa and Ty Lee to ensure they were still distracted.</p>
<p>“I do, however, happen to know of one weakness,” he whispered.</p>
<p>Katara lowered her voice to match his, childlike excitement budding inside her. “And that weakness is?”</p>
<p>Zuko let go of her arm.</p>
<p>“Suki’s a lush,” he said, his voice returning to normal. “Get her drunk enough and she’ll agree to almost anything.”</p>
<p>Katara blinked in surprise. Her lips folded into a mischievous grin.</p>
<p>“Well, then I think it’s time for a girls’ night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so that became the plan. The following evening, Zuko kept Sokka distracted by challenging him to a sword duel. Meanwhile, Katara and Suki retired to the tea room with some of the finest bottles of wine the Fire Nation had to offer. There was no possible way to keep track of exactly how much they drank. Any time their glasses went down more than halfway, a servant would refill them with haste. Four bottles were emptied between the two of them by the time the sun began to set and Katara was fairly certain it wasn’t an even split. Zuko hadn’t been exaggerating. Suki swallowed her wine like water.</p>
<p>Katara kept the conversation light as a means for easy transition. They gossiped about their respective husbands, giggling at their expense. They caught up on the trivial things and remembered their finer days during the war; nights spent huddled around warm campfires and telling stories of the past. The conversation, however, took a turn when the sun went down. Katara wanted to blame the alcohol, but she was beginning to realize that maybe she just didn’t know her sister-in-law as well as she thought she did.</p>
<p>Katara found herself both intrigued and uncomfortable. She hadn’t exactly planned on learning that Suki lost her virginity on the sole of a fishing boat to an earthbender named Shuo, but, alas, here she was. And if she had to reciprocate in order to earn the warrior’s favor and win a night on the town with the Fire Lord, then so be it. Katara could swap stories, as scandalous as they were. This was easy. No harm could come of this; only inevitable embarrassment.</p>
<p>The first time Katara had sex was in a tree house with Jet. A fucking tree house. With Jet. One of those things was more embarrassing than the other and she wasn’t sure which one.</p>
<p>“It’s definitely the tree house,” said Suki.</p>
<p>Katara frowned. “You never even met Jet.”</p>
<p>Suki snorted. She twisted a strand of her hair around playful fingers, only halfway engaged in the conversation at this point. “No, but I’ve met you.”</p>
<p>Katara narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p>
<p>Suki sighed, exasperated, as though she knew where this conversation was going. Katara remained blissfully unaware.</p>
<p>“As my sister-in-law, I love you dearly,” said Suki. “But your taste in men is both terrible and predictable.”</p>
<p>Katara blinked. “I’m married to the Avatar,” she deadpanned.</p>
<p>Suki rolled her eyes. She downed the rest of her wine in one go and set the glass down to be refilled. She fixed Katara with a steady gaze.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I mean like your <em>real </em>taste in men,” she said. “You know, dark and broody but with a secret heart of gold? I’m sure Jet was just some broad-chested asshole with a tortured past who knew exactly how to tug at your heartstrings. Did he swoop you up into his secret tree house? Did he hike up your skirt and take you from behind like a man? Did he whisper dirty things in your ear?” </p>
<p>Katara’s face grew red hot with embarrassment, the crimson shade complimenting the room’s décor.</p>
<p>“Uh… Yes, actually. To all of that. I’m sorry – were you there?”</p>
<p>Suki threw her head back and laughed. The servant that leaned over to replenish the wine failed miserably in hiding their smirk. Katara sunk into the couch, humiliated.    </p>
<p>“See! Predictable,” said Suki. “But hot. The only part that’s not hot is the secret tree house part. Therefore the tree house is more embarrassing.”</p>
<p>The temptation to bring the night to a close came seeping in faster than expected.</p>
<p>“What do you mean by my<em> real</em> taste in men?” Katara asked. “Who else besides Jet is being included in this population?”</p>
<p>Suki rolled her eyes. She laid out across the ottoman with little coordination.  </p>
<p>“Ugh, can we <em>please </em>stop pretending I don’t know,” she moaned. “Gee, Katara, let’s think. What broad-chested, dark, broody asshole with a heart of gold do we both know? Here’s a hint: half his face is burnt off to signify his tortured past.”</p>
<p>Katara’s heart sunk to the pit of her stomach. She caught the eyes of two servants, both of whom averted their gaze in an instant. They busied themselves with the opening of another wine bottle, pretending not to listen. Katara shot Suki a deadly look that was drunkenly ignored.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p>
<p>Suki scoffed.</p>
<p>“Whatever,” she said, waving it off. “You’re crazy to think it’s not obvious. By the way, if you’re planning on fucking him again, do it in your room. Otherwise, your brother is going to hear you.”</p>
<p>A few things happened in that moment.</p>
<p>First, one of the servants lost their grip on the wine bottle, causing it to fall and shatter across the table.</p>
<p>Second, Katara lost all feeling in her body. She didn’t react when a shard of glass splintered off and drew blood from her forearm.  </p>
<p>And third, Zuko came through the door just in time to catch Suki’s grand opening of the forbidden can of worms.</p>
<p>Luckily, Sokka was not behind him. He entered alone dressed in loose pants and a sleeveless tunic, duel swords still strapped to his back. His hair was down and it reminded Katara of their days during the war. Only now there was no campfire. Now, there was a broken bottle of wine and an intoxicated Suki sprawled out across an ottoman. There were two servants standing petrified in the corner – scandalized by the news they had just been given. And there was Katara, sitting there frozen; drunker than she initially believed herself to be.</p>
<p>“<em>Katara</em>,” Zuko hissed, and she realized it wasn’t the first time he’d said her name. He was knelt down, picking up shards of glass from both the table and the floor. “<em>The wine</em>. Can you help me or not?”</p>
<p>“Oh,” said Katara, her face still numb. “Yes. Yes, of course.”</p>
<p>She pulled the wine from both the carpet and the table, swirling it through the air without much thought. One of the servants quickly reached for a decanter, holding it out so that it had somewhere to go.</p>
<p>Zuko stood from the ground, his hands filled with glass. He dumped the shards into a nearby trashcan. He turned towards the servants.</p>
<p>“The two of you are excused for the evening,” he told them. There was something in his voice. Something dangerous. “What you heard here was none of your concern, and I strongly suggest pretending that you didn’t hear it.”</p>
<p>The two of them bowed, faces panicked. They were out the door quicker than what seemed humanly possible. When the door closed, Zuko sighed. He ran a hand down over his face. “Suki, it’s time for bed.”</p>
<p>Suki snorted from her increasingly awkward position on the ottoman. “I’m being sent to my room? For what? Speaking the truth, or doing it in front of the help?”</p>
<p>There was a flash of anger that Katara recognized – it danced over Zuko’s features like lightening. It was gone as quickly as it came.</p>
<p>“You’re not even going to remember this tomorrow,” he told her. “There’s no point in telling you why I’m angry. I just want you out of my sight.”</p>
<p>Suki muttered something incoherent. Zuko snapped back at her in return. Their bickering transformed into a steady buzz in the background.</p>
<p>Katara began to regain clarity. The numbness faded away and she could feel the sting of the cut on her forearm. She could feel the heat of embarrassment on her chest. Most notably, she could feel a deep rage continue to grow within the pit of her stomach.</p>
<p>She stood from the couch. Her hands were clenched into fists. There were tears in her eyes.</p>
<p>Silence fell over the room.</p>
<p>Zuko looked at her, concerned. “Katara?” He questioned.</p>
<p>She glared at him.</p>
<p>“<em>You told her</em>,” she spat.  </p>
<p>She was out the door even faster than the servants, slamming it behind her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I lowkey feel bad for how I left this chapter, but I promise I will make up for it in chapter ten.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Leave me a comment?(:</p></blockquote></div></div>
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